Among Sofia's favorite things:
· Favorite movie: The Godfather
· Favorite actors: Robert De Niro, Al Pacino and Marlon Brando (of course)
· Favorite group or singer: Shakira and Cher
· Favorite TV show: Sex and the City
· Favorite hobby: Playing with Manolo (her son)
Sofia may be a Latin cyber and television goddess, but her favorite job is motherhood. She's been called the Latin version of Pamela Anderson but as Sofía Vergara is quick to point out, "Mine are real!" I was not allowed to get a hands on confirmation of that statement, but this much is certain: The 29 year old Colombian first became a South American sensation by way of her hosting duties on Univision TV. Calendars and a Web site (SofiaVergara.com), which gets 12 million hits each month, soon followed. And as for her finally being discovered by gringos? You have director Barry Sonnenfeld to thank for that. (You might also want to thank him for that fruit basket you received last week. Yep, that was from Barry. Isn't he sweet?) Charmed by her role as a presenter at the 14th Annual American Comedy Awards, Sonnenfeld cast her as stereotype alert! the Latina maid in Dave Barry's book turned film, Big Trouble. But none of this prepared me for the alien invasion that walked into L.A.'s trendylicious Asia de Cuba. Happily, Sofía entered the establishment wearing a loose button down blouse. Sadly, she also brought along a longtime friend/personal assistant. But that wasn't going to stop me from getting answers from this woman, who when she isn't busy being a single mother to her 10 year old son has been linked with everyone from smarmy singer Enrique Iglesias, to that rich bitch of a shortstop Alex Rodriguez, to mobbed up club impresario Chris Paciello, to the man who reportedly made Mariah go mental, Luis Miguel. For a few precious minutes, she was even linked to me, as I asked her probing questions such as the one about her neck.
You recently had a benign tumor removed from your neck. Did you keep it in a jar and name it?
What does that mean? I had to send it to laboratories. They still have it.
I have a confession to make. I logged on to the For Women Only part of your Web site.
That’s OK. Just to take a peek?
Yeah. In the Summer’s Beauty Sins section, you state that the only thing worse than bikini—line irritation is having actual hair stick out. How much should I shave off, Sofía?
No, no, no. For men? Just a trim is fine. For a girl? Everything. It looks cleaner. It’s just a hygiene thing.
You’ve been called a Latina Pamela Anderson. Is it because you made a popular sex video with a rock—star boyfriend?
Are you crazy? No way! I’ve never heard that they were comparing me, but I guess it’s because I’m blond with big boobs.
You would often visit a family—owned chicken farm as a child. Ever drop hens from great heights to see if they were really flightless?
Well, when I was little I got so excited holding the chicks that I would squeeze them to death.
Ha—ha! Talk about killing them with kindness.
I didn’t do it on purpose!
If a girl e—mailed your Web site asking what she should do about falling in love with another woman, what would your advice be?
Oh, my God! They have never asked me that.
Have you ever driven down Lesbian Lane?
No, no, no, no. As you can see by my list of boyfriends, I’m not really that interested.
On that note, is Alex Rodriguez as overrated in bed as he is overpaid as a shortstop?
You know, I don’t think women should have a memory. Alex is a gentleman.
Whatever. You once posted bail for your very connected ex, Chris Paciello. Do you regret doing it now?
Not at all. I’d already stopped going out with him before he got arrested. I knew he wasn’t going to, like, skip bail or anything.
It’s been said that Chris wouldn’t leave the house without first brushing his eyebrows. Did he often take longer than you to get made up?
Yes! He did, he did.
Do you often date high—maintenance men?
Not really, but, well…[giggles]. Yeah, actually. I date people in the entertainment business.
Mariah Carey reportedly told a pal that when she was kissing singer Luis Miguel, she was nervous he was going to say your name.
I don’t think she’s worried about me at all.
I do! Her mom called Luis, when he was reportedly back with you, and threatened him over breaking Mariah’s heart again. Think she’s as crazy as her daughter?
Really? I don’t know her mother, and I can’t talk about Mariah because I have never met her.
You dated Enrique Iglesias. Is his mole fake?
Of course it’s real! He’s a very handsome man.
I guess. How old were you when you first tiptoed through the garden of deflowerment?
What is that?
Uh, it’s my nonthreatening way of asking how old you were when you lost your virginity.
I was 18. Well, I was turning 18 in that summer. It was good. I mean, I enjoy it more now than before. The more you do it, the better you get!
You’ve said your favorite show is Sex and the City. Do you identify more with the character who likes sex, the one who really likes sex, or the one who really, really likes sex?
I would say I’m like the—oh, what is her name?
No, no, no. Women have a little bit of [Samantha] in them, but in a good way. It’s a lot like the real things that happen to women.
The show’s got a lot of masturbation scenes. Speaking of which, would you vote for or against the act of self—love?
I don’t know. I wouldn’t like to—how do you say?—comment on that. That’s very private.
I’ll just write you down as for. Orgasms: More than you can take, or are they all fake?
I think the most stupid thing a woman could do is fake it. What’s the point? Then what about you? I mean, why fake it? Are you crazy?
Crazy like a fox! Your son is 10 now. Given any thought as to when you’ll both have the Talk?
I’ve been thinking about that a lot. It’s not the same as when I was 10, with so much on TV. I’m waiting until he is 11.
I could help and draw some illustrations.
Uh, I’ll figure it out.
You’ve said if you were to get pregnant again, you’d want a girl. If it’s a boy, would you just love him less, or would you give the kid a one—way ticket to Fosterville?
Not at all! I’d love him the same. It’d be nice to have a boy and a girl, but it doesn’t matter.
You’ve said your favorite area in your home is your bedroom. Is that for sexual or sleepual reasons? Please don’t say sleepual.
For everything. For sleep and, well, you know…
No, I don’t.
You know! Actually, my bedroom in my house is not for that. I live with my son, and if I want to sleep with my boyfriend I make sure it’s not in my house. But I am with no one right now.
Ah, then what’s your stance on one—night stands? Fun to be had, or always end bad?
I guess it’s fun. But I really need to have a relationship with the person. I’m able to open up and enjoy the whole thing.
Which of my questions did you like the least?
The one about masturbation. I was in a nun’s school my whole life. Even though I’m 29, I still have this closed mentality.
Here, this bath—toy frog is for you. The hotel I’m at leaves them in each room. Bring him to the photo shoot for inspiration.
OK. I will. Thank you. I will remember you every time I see frogs.